Tyson Lamar Berrow, Langara’s “laptop bandit” according to Langara security posters, is a comically terrible crook.
I don’t mean to say that crooks are bad and that he is a bad person.
Although I’m not denying that, what I’m getting at is that he is really bad at being a crook.
He must not have gone to crook school, or, if he did, failed out.
Facebook profile really tells all
In reality, his Facebook profile reads, worked at: “being a baller,” and studied at: “i think grade 10.”
Whatever that means.
Berrows, who turned 28 on March 24, has a long criminal record that started in 2006 and continues today.
Through this career of thievery, he has been charged more than 30 times with offences including: impersonation; being in possession of break-in tools; multiple counts of possession of stolen property, theft under $5,000, mischief under $5,000 and possession and use of stolen credit cards.
2011 seems to have been a particularly unsuccessful year for Berrow, with more than 10 charges and four convictions in that year alone.
He has appeared in court all over the Lower Mainland, with offences logged in Surrey, New Westminster, in Vancouver and at UBC.
It’s unclear how much time he has spent in jail, if any.
Eight years and 30 charges hasn’t changed him
As I read through his court documents, I kept wondering to myself, “How has this guy not learned? How, after eight years and 30 charges, has he never gotten better at stealing other people’s stuff?”
One would think that after getting caught the first 10 times with stolen property, he would at least dream up a new hiding spot for all this loot.
When something goes missing, is there a trail of expensive bread crumbs leading from the poor student who lost all their work — not to mention possibly the most expensive item they own — to the foolish guy who doesn’t seem to understand that if you’re going to steal something, you need to get rid of it, quick.
His next court appearance is scheduled for April 15 and you can guess what the charge is — possession of stolen property under $5,000, at UBC, late last year.
Langara’s response . . .
In response to this, Langara security has banned Berrow from the campus, sent out warning posters and is trying to catch him hanging around.
But after 30-plus charges in criminal court, I’m not sure that a stern lecture from a security guard, or a judge, are going to carry much weight with Berrow.
A further complication: it’s completely possible that if he were sent to jail, it would be the crook school he always needed, and he might come out better at his chosen craft, and perhaps having learned new ones.
So, pack up your gear and bring everything with you.
It’s unclear what will stop this guy; obviously the justice system hasn’t.
Reported by Bill Everitt